How to Comfort a Scared Dog: Why Your Fearful Dog Needs You

There's an insidious myth that comforting a scared dog can do harm in some way.

One of the ideas is that it means we are rewarding fear. This isn't so.

Fear is an emotion and emotions cannot be treated the same as learning theory.

Sadly and because of the way they are often treated and misunderstood, there are many scared dogs in our communities. When we live or work with dogs who fear things, or even fear us, we have to adopt certain strategies and communicate slightly differently.

Supporting a fearful dog is about offering them the space to find calm in their own time.

Living and working with a scared dog requires a gentle, patient approach, one that meets their need for security and trust. Just like humans, dogs have unique emotional worlds, and it's our job to respect that.

Fear in dogs often starts subtly.

You might see a glance away, a yawn, or a lip lick. These are calming signals, the dog's way of saying, "I'm uncomfortable, please give me space."

It's crucial to notice these small gestures before they escalate.

The Canine Ladder of Aggression can help with understanding the early signs of discomfort in dogs. When a dog's signals are ignored, they may feel they have no choice but to increase the intensity of their warnings—from stiffening their posture to growling, snapping, and, ultimately, biting.

Supporting a fearful dog means being able to spot these signals and act early. It's about giving them control over their environment, allowing them to retreat when needed, and never punishing them for their fear.

Important Point About Freeze Response

Not all dogs become aggressive when they are scared.

Some shrink back into themselves and hope the scary thing goes away. This becomes a kind of freeze state and is as crucial to respond to as the aggressive response is, because freeze state is awful for dog welfare.

"A dog in freeze response is experiencing an intense physiological shutdown of all their systems which maintain good health."

Confidence-building in fearful dogs is a process of small, positive experiences. Every interaction should aim to reassure the dog that they are safe.

One way to do this is through desensitisation and counter-conditioning.

These techniques involve exposing the dog to their fear in a controlled, gradual way while pairing the experience with something positive, like a treat or a favourite toy. For instance, if a scared dog is afraid of strangers, you might have the stranger stand far away while the dog relaxes.

Over time, as the dog realises that good things (or even nothing at all) happen in the presence of the stranger, their fear will start to diminish.

Distance is a key tool in helping fearful dogs. If a dog is anxious, increasing the distance between them and whatever is causing the fear can immediately reduce their stress.

Whether it's another dog, a person, or an unfamiliar object, stepping back gives the dog space to relax.

From there, you can work on gradually reducing the distance, always watching the dog's body language to make sure they remain comfortable.

Scent work can be an excellent way to help fearful dogs gain confidence.

By engaging their natural instincts, you give them a task they can focus on, helping to distract them from their fear. It's also a fantastic way to give a dog a sense of accomplishment.

Every time they successfully find a hidden treat or toy, their confidence grows.

How to Start Scent Work

When introducing scent work to a fearful dog, start with simple tasks. Hide treats around the house and encourage them to use their nose to find them.

As they become more confident, you can make the tasks more challenging. The goal is to give the dog something positive to focus on, helping them to feel in control and successful.

A fearful dog needs their personal space respected. It's tempting to comfort a scared dog the way we might comfort a person, by petting them or moving close, but this can backfire.

Many dogs see direct approaches as confrontational. Instead, allow the dog to come to you when they're ready.

Let them set the pace for any physical interaction, and never force them into situations they aren't comfortable with.

Trust is built over time and through consistent, respectful interactions. If a dog feels they have control over their space and their interactions, they will begin to trust you.

With trust comes confidence, and with confidence, fear begins to fade.

The truth is that comforting a scared dog is exactly what they need. The way we comfort them must be catered to them, not the way we think they want to be comforted.

So for example one dog might find touch comforting while another might find it overwhelming when they are scared.

"Let them set the pace for any physical interaction, and never force them into situations they aren't comfortable with."

Trust is built over time and through consistent, respectful interactions. If a dog feels they have control over their space and their interactions, they will begin to trust you.

With trust comes confidence, and with confidence, fear begins to fade.

Let them set the pace for any physical interaction, and never force them into situations they aren't comfortable with.

Trust is built over time and through consistent, respectful interactions. If a dog feels they have control over their space and their interactions, they will begin to trust you.

With trust comes confidence, and with confidence, fear begins to fade. Learn more with the bundle of eBooks below.