Three Crucial Requirements for Settling in a Scared Dog

Bringing home a stressed rescue dog is difficult physically and emotionally. However, there is hope!

Here are three simple things you can do to help your new dog become less fearful and more content.

Stress is all-consuming, and abandonment (or losing their person some other way) followed by unsettlement can cause even the most resilient dog to be stressed.

If you're rescuing a dog, though, it's a great idea to consider how to handle their emotions by keeping their lives as stress-free as possible.

First, we must understand the nature of stress.

A typical happy, relaxed or neutral dog is in a state of homeostasis. The state of homeostasis means everything is working well, and all bodily systems are in good balance.

A dog settled in a relaxed home was likely to be in homeostasis most of the time. Then if something happens and everything changes for them, hormones start running amok. Emotional states vary, which changes the natural shape of the dog's body. It goes out of balance, and homeostasis becomes, instead, imbalance.

A rescue dog will need space, face no pressure, and have time to settle down from the significant life change he has just experienced. A rescue dog with trauma, for example from a puppy farm will need extra care to feel safe.

What Stress Does to Your Dog's Body

When a dog experiences abandonment or rehoming, their entire system goes into crisis mode.

Cortisol floods their bloodstream. Their heart rate elevates. Their digestive system slows or stops. Their immune system weakens. Sleep becomes fitful or impossible.

They exist in a state of perpetual alarm.

Even the calmest, most resilient dog will struggle under these conditions. Their nervous system is screaming danger, even when they're finally safe with you.

This is why the seemingly simple act of settling in can feel so impossibly hard. Your new dog isn't being difficult. They're surviving.

And survival mode doesn't allow for trust, relaxation, or connection. Not yet.

Space and distance are vitally important when you bring a new dog home.

Sleep is also so crucial to dogs. Rescued dogs who have been through a complete life change need restorative and healing sleep more than many.

Provide a lovely comfortable space for your new rescue dog to settle and relax. He may need a reasonable long rest period when he first comes home to you. That's fine; let him rest.

Space From Attention

Dogs need space to retreat, confident in the knowledge they can properly sleep and relax but also space away from our attention and fascination with them.

Our desperation to comfort them and make friends can intimidate a new dog.

New dogs need space from us, so they can check we are safe, from their safe distance. So if you find yourself watching your dog, ask yourself if you're also intimidating them.

Dogs do find staring at a stranger quite intimidating. Later, that same attention becomes the look of love with the help of bonding hormones, but in the beginning, they need some time to adjust.

Space From the World

A new rescue dog might even need distance from the outside world.

Some rescue dogs might need a walk break; that's fine too. Having a few days to get to know their permanent space is excellent for stress relief.

Think about it from their perspective. Everything is new. Every smell is unfamiliar. Every sound is potentially threatening. Every person and dog they encounter is a stranger.

The outside world is overwhelming.

Your home, your garden, your quiet space - this is where recovery begins. Not on walks. Not meeting the neighbours' dogs. Not being shown off to visiting family.

In the safe, boring, predictable space of home.

What Space Actually Looks Like

Space means:

A physical safe zone. A crate with a blanket over it, a quiet room, a corner with a bed. Somewhere they can retreat where no one will bother them.

Freedom from interaction. You don't pet them every time you walk past. You don't talk to them constantly. You don't try to make them play or come to you. You exist nearby, calm and predictable, but you don't demand their attention.

No visitors. Not for the first few days at minimum, possibly longer. No well-meaning friends who want to meet the new dog. No children running in excited to play. Just your immediate household, moving quietly and predictably.

Minimal handling. Only what's necessary for care. No grooming appointments, no vet visits unless urgent, no collar changes or harness fittings. Let them be.

Permission to hide. If they want to stay in their crate or under the table for three days, that's okay. They're not being rude. They're regulating.

I know this feels counterintuitive. You want to bond. You want to help. You want them to know they're loved.

But love, right now, looks like leaving them alone.

Pressure is anything that asks the dog to do something they're not ready for. Consent is so crucial.

It's taking them for walks when they're terrified. It's insisting they come out of their crate. It's trying to pet them when they're stiff and frozen. It's having people over to socialise them.

Pressure is anything that prioritises our timeline over their nervous system.

We often pressure scared dogs because we're trying to help. We think socialisation means exposure. We think they need to "get used to" things. We think movement and activity will help them settle.

But a dog in survival mode cannot learn. They cannot socialise. They cannot adjust.

They can only endure.

What Freedom From Pressure Looks Like

• No forced interaction. If they don't want to come to you, you don't call them repeatedly or approach them. You wait. You let them decide.
• No expectations. They don't have to sit. They don't have to come when called. They don't have to be friendly. They don't have to perform any behaviours at all.
• No schedule yet. Yes, eventually routine is helpful. But in the first days, let them eat when they're ready, sleep when they need to, and exist without demands.
• No training. Not now. Not yet. Training requires focus, cognitive capacity, and emotional availability. Scared dogs have none of these. Let them be.
• No "testing" what they're scared of. You don't need to know if they're scared of men, or bikes, or other dogs. You'll find out naturally as they settle. Don't expose them to triggers to see what happens.

Freedom from pressure means accepting that your dog might spend the first week barely moving. Might not eat much. Might not interact with you at all.

And that's exactly what they need.

In the beginning, caring for a new rescue dog may be low key. They just need space and time, nutrition, water and veterinary care if necessary, so we should naturally provide that.

Then we can begin with all the fun stuff that our dogs will enjoy, but first, they need to settle and deal with the stress associated with being homeless and then a complete life change.

When they realise that life is not so bad with us, they will start to enjoy themselves.

The Timeline No One Talks About

There's a saying in rescue: three days, three weeks, three months.

In three days, they start to decompress. In three weeks, they begin to show their personality. In three months, they start to truly settle.

But this is a minimum. For some dogs, it's three months, three seasons, three years.

Time isn't linear with trauma.

Some days will feel like progress. They ate breakfast. They wagged their tail. They came to you for the first time.

Other days will feel like you've gone backwards. They're hiding again. They're not eating. They won't come out.

This is normal. This is how nervous systems heal.

What Time Allows

Time allows the cortisol to clear their system. Time allows sleep to restore them. Time allows their nervous system to start recognising that this new environment is actually safe.

Time allows them to watch you and learn your patterns. Time allows them to realise you don't hurt them, don't shout at them, don't take their food, don't force them into things.

Time allows trust to develop.

Not because you've done anything magical. Not because you've trained them or socialised them or exposed them to things.

But because you've been predictably safe, over and over and over again, until their nervous system finally starts to believe it.

Let me paint you a picture of the first week with a scared rescue dog done right:

Day one: Dog arrives, goes straight to crate, doesn't come out. You put food and water nearby. You sit in the room quietly, reading. You don't try to interact. Dog doesn't eat. That's okay.

Day two: Dog still in crate most of the time. Comes out to toilet in the garden very quickly, then back to crate. You notice they've eaten some food overnight. You leave them alone. No visitors. No walks.

Day three: Dog watches you more. Still won't approach. You continue your calm routine. You're boring. Predictable. Safe. Dog eats more.

Day four: Dog comes out of crate while you're in the room. Doesn't approach you, but doesn't hide immediately. You ignore them. They explore a little, then return to their safe space. This is massive progress.

Day five: Dog approaches your hand. Just sniffs. You stay still. Don't reach for them. They retreat. But they initiated contact. You're building trust.

Week two: Dog follows you from room to room, at a distance. Still won't be touched. Still anxious about some things. But they're eating normally. Sleeping more deeply. Beginning to settle.

This is what success looks like.

Not a dog who's immediately friendly and outgoing. But a dog whose nervous system is beginning to regulate. A dog who's starting to trust that this might actually be safe.

You can learn how to recognise safety in my eBook here.

To settle and experience stress reduction, they simply need understanding, space and freedom.

Understanding that their behaviour isn't defiance or stubbornness, but a nervous system trying to survive.

Space to exist without demands, without pressure, without the overwhelming requirements of performing "dog" behaviours before they're ready.

Freedom from our expectations, our timelines, our need for them to be grateful or friendly or social.

These three requirements cost nothing.

They don't require special equipment or expensive trainers or complex protocols.

They require patience. Compassion. The willingness to let your dog set the pace.

And I know that's hard. I know you're excited. I know you want to bond and play and have adventures together.

You will. I promise you will.

But right now, in these crucial early days and weeks, the most loving thing you can do is give them nothing but time, space, and freedom.

Let them tell you when they're ready for more.

They will. When they're ready, they'll show you. They'll approach you. They'll seek interaction. They'll start to play. They'll relax.

But they can only get there if we let them recover first.

Your new dog has been through something we can barely imagine. Everything they knew is gone. Everyone they trusted is gone. Even if their previous life wasn't good, it was familiar. And now even familiarity is gone.

What they need from you isn't entertainment or socialisation or training.

What they need is safety. Predictability. Time to heal.

Give them that, and everything else will follow.

Bringing home a rescue dog and want ongoing support? Join us in Skool For Dog People, where we explore trauma-informed approaches to rescue dog integration, nervous system science, and the patience required for scared dogs to truly settle.