Understanding Triggers and Glimmers: The Secret to Your Dog's Emotional Well-being

Have you heard of triggers and glimmers?

I imagine if you have a dog with big feelings, triggers will be almost constantly on your mind. That knot in your stomach when you see another dog approaching on a walk. The tension that creeps into your shoulders when the doorbell rings. The way your breathing goes shallow when you know your dog is about to lose it.

We talk about triggers all the time, don't we? But we rarely talk about their beautiful opposite: glimmers.

In nervous system terms, triggers mean signals of danger and they take our dogs (and us) to dysregulation. You know what that feels like, we all do. That underlying discomfort that sits in your chest. The anxiety that makes everything feel slightly wrong. The worry that everything is not OK, even when you can't put your finger on why.

Dysregulation means we're closer to explosion or shut down ALL THE TIME. And so are our dogs. If their system doesn't feel safe, then neither will they.

Living with a dysregulated nervous system is exhausting. It's like trying to navigate your day whilst constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every sound could be danger. Every movement could be threat. Every interaction could go wrong.

That's where triggers come in. They're signs of danger that cause a survival response. What we might call reactivity in dogs or snappiness in ourselves. It's not naughtiness. It's not them being difficult. It's a nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do: keep them alive.

Glimmers are signs of safety. 

Cosiness, comfort, love, connection, even a nice meal, they're all glimmers. That warm feeling you get when your dog chooses to lean against your legs. The softness in their eyes when they truly relax. The deep sigh they give when they finally feel safe enough to properly rest.

They make us feel warm and safe inside, and that's because glimmers literally regulate the nervous system. 

They tell that ancient part of our brain that's always scanning for danger: "It's alright, you can stand down now."

Our dogs benefit greatly from glimmers too. Actually, they need them. Desperately.

One of the biggest glimmers for dogs is the ability to control their environment and what happens to them. It makes perfect sense, right? Think about how you feel when you have no control over your day. When every decision is made for you. When you can't even choose when to have a wee or what to eat or when to go outside.

If an individual has no control, autonomy or choices, they're going to feel less safe. Add in even one choice - just one - and we create a glimmer of safety.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. How many choices do our dogs actually get to make? Really think about it. We decide when they eat, what they eat, when they walk, where they walk, who they meet, when they can sniff, when they need to hurry up. We decide when they get attention and when they need to settle. We decide everything.

No wonder so many dogs are walking around dysregulated.

Glimmers that might help your own dog are connection on their terms. Choices of treats - actually letting them pick which one they want. The ability to sniff for as long as they like, when they like. (Yes, even that boring bit of grass they've sniffed a hundred times already. Especially that bit of grass.)

A cuddle with you when they seek it out. Or maybe - and this is a big one - not being touched when they don't invite it. How often do we pet our dogs because WE need the connection, without checking if they want it too?

Glimmers are little bits of daily life that can take a dysregulated system into a regulated one. They're not grand gestures. They're tiny moments of safety that add up.

Letting your dog choose which way to turn on a walk. Waiting for them to be ready before clipping on their lead. Asking them if they want to come for cuddles rather than calling them over. Respecting when they choose their bed over your sofa.

These might sound like small things. They are small things. But to a nervous system that's constantly assessing threat, these moments of choice and control are everything.

And just as important as that, facilitating glimmers for your dog is a kind and loving action towards them. It's saying, "I see you as an individual with preferences and feelings and autonomy." It's recognising them as more than just "a dog" who should do what they're told.

Who doesn't want to be kind to their dog?

The thing is, when we start noticing triggers and actively creating glimmers, something shifts. Not just in our dogs, but in us too. We become more attuned. More present. More connected.

We start to see behaviour differently. That "reactive" dog isn't being difficult - they're dysregulated and desperate for safety. That "stubborn" dog who won't come when called might just need more choice in their life. That "anxious" dog might simply need more glimmers than triggers in their day.

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Because here's what I know: once you understand triggers and glimmers, you can't unsee them. 

You'll notice them everywhere. In your dog, in yourself, in your relationships. 

And that awareness? 

That's the first step to creating a life with more glimmers than triggers.

For all of us.

And honestly, don't we all deserve that?