You Cannot Train Away Fear: What Your Terrified Dog Really Needs

The number of times I have read 'you should train your dog' said to people with terrified dogs, on this firework season is way too high.

As if a scared dog is someone else's problem, and shouldn't stop other people causing that fear.

The sadness for our own species blows me away when I read things like that, even more so when I think about the human effect on the rest of the planet and everyone on it.

As if fear is something that can be commanded away.

As if a dog trembling in the bathroom, panting in the hallway, or frozen under the bed just needs a few treats and some obedience exercises.

But here's what we need to understand: you cannot train away fear.

Fear is not a behaviour problem or disobedience or lack of socialisation or training.

Fear is a nervous system response.

When a dog is terrified of fireworks, their body is experiencing a genuine threat response.

And let's face it, it's not just dogs. People struggle too, wildlife struggle, horses die through sheer panic. I saw a lady write that she had seen a terrified fox a couple of days ago. It's not good enough, we are not good enough.

With fear, the heart rate increases, cortisol floods the system, pupils dilate. The individual is going through severe trauma.

"Traumatised dogs don't need training they need empathy. They need understanding. They need us to recognise that their fear is real, valid, and deserving of compassion."

Traumatised dogs don't need training they need empathy. They need understanding. They need us to recognise that their fear is real, valid, and deserving of compassion.

Think about how you feel when you're genuinely afraid. That tightness in your chest, that overwhelming urge to escape, that feeling of being utterly unsafe.

Your dog experiences these same physiological responses. They're just expressing them differently: through panting, pacing, hiding, trembling, or shutting down completely. Remember, they have no choice to just up and leave.

How Fear Generalises in Dogs

And here's what makes it even more complicated: dogs generalise.

One frightening experience with a loud bang can teach their nervous system that all sudden noises are dangerous. The firework that terrified them in November might mean they now startle at car doors slamming, bins being moved, or someone dropping a pan in the kitchen in March of the following year.

A single traumatic event can rewrite the neural pathways, creating fear responses that spread like ripples across similar sounds, similar contexts, similar situations.

The dog isn't being dramatic. Their brain has learned that loud noises predict danger, and now it's doing exactly what it evolved to do: keep them safe by responding to potential threats.

The danger of generalisation means that every time we dismiss a dog's fear, every time we push them to "face their fears" before they're ready, every time we fail to provide safety during frightening experiences, we risk expanding their fear rather than reducing it.

So no, you cannot train fear away.

With a scared dog, what you can do is provide safety, offer support, and help your dog's nervous system learn new information when they're ready to receive it.

What the rest of you can do is develop empathy, consider that your actions and words affect others. Basically just be a decent human and understand that you're causing and belittling suffering.

Safety is not the absence of threat.

Safety is the felt sense in the nervous system that allows learning, connection, and curiosity to emerge.

Can a dog learn effectively when their nervous system is scanning for danger?

No. This is not a moral failing; it's neuroscience.

Stephen Porges' polyvagal theory teaches us that social engagement requires ventral vagal activation: the state where the nervous system feels safe enough to connect, to explore, to absorb new information.

When a dog is in sympathetic arousal (flight/fight) or dorsal vagal shutdown (freeze), the learning centres of the brain are offline. The body is brilliant in its prioritisation: survival first, learning later.

"A dog in a fear state cannot learn what you're trying to teach them. Their nervous system won't allow it."

This is why telling someone to "just train" their terrified dog misses the fundamental point. A dog in a fear state cannot learn what you're trying to teach them. Their nervous system won't allow it.

Creating Safety Cannot Be Forced

Creating safety means understanding that it cannot be forced or commanded.

We cannot tell a nervous system to feel safe.

We can only provide the conditions (predictability, choice, agency, secure attachment) that allow safety to emerge organically.

This is why our role as guardians is so important. We are, in essence, co-regulating the canine nervous system, lending our calm when theirs is unavailable.

The relationship between guardian and dog is the foundation of safety. Dr Gregory Berns' research on neural synchronisation between humans and dogs reveals something we've intuitively known: our nervous systems speak to each other.

Positive learning simply can't happen when a dog is scared. And it can happen hugely when the dog is surrounded by fireworks, but that's not the kind of learning we want.

Positive learning happens at the intersection of safety and engagement.

When the nervous system feels secure, the prefrontal cortex comes online, dopamine flows, and the brain becomes receptive to new information. This is the state we're seeking: not compliance born of fear, but curiosity born of confidence.

Understanding How Dogs Learn

Classical conditioning teaches us that associations form whether we intend them or not. The dog who trembles at the sight of the lead learned that lead predicts an overwhelming experience. The dog who races to the door learned that shoes mean adventure.

These associations write themselves into neural pathways through repetition and emotional intensity.

What's our responsibility? Ensuring we're creating associations that serve the dog's wellbeing.

Operant conditioning shows us that behaviour is influenced by consequence, but here's where we must tread carefully. Positive reinforcement builds confidence and strengthens the bond between guardian and dog.

Punishment, even when it appears to "work", carries hidden costs: suppressed behaviour without addressing the underlying emotional state, damaged trust, increased anxiety, and the ever-present risk of learned helplessness.

The Power of One-Trial Learning

Social learning reminds us that dogs are watching us constantly. They learn not just from direct experience but from observation, from the emotional tenor of their environment, from the subtle cues we don't realise we're giving.

This is both responsibility and opportunity.

Then there's one-trial learning: perhaps the most important type for us to understand. When emotional arousal is high, learning happens instantaneously.

One traumatic event can create a lasting fear. One moment of overwhelming joy can create a powerful positive association.

This is why our timing, our awareness, and our commitment to minimising traumatic experiences matters so profoundly.

"The question isn't whether your dog is learning. They're always learning, in every moment, from every experience. The question is: what are we teaching them?"

The question isn't whether your dog is learning. They're always learning, in every moment, from every experience.

The question is: what are we teaching them?

Are we teaching them that the world is predictable and they have agency within it? Are we teaching them that their communications are heard and respected? Are we teaching them that fear will be met with patience rather than frustration?

Learning, when rooted in safety and guided by compassion, becomes the bridge between fear and confidence: not by eliminating the fear response, but by giving dogs new experiences that expand their window of tolerance and deepen their trust in themselves and in us.

So if you can't train away fear, what can you actually do for your terrified dog?

Accept Their Fear Is Real

Accept that your dog's fear is real. Accept that they're not being difficult or dramatic. Accept that their nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do.

This acceptance isn't giving up; it's the foundation for everything that follows.

Provide a Safe Space

Where can your dog retreat when they're frightened? A quiet room, a covered crate, under your bed?

Wherever they feel most secure, honour that choice. Don't force them out. Don't try to "comfort" them if they want to be alone. Let them self-regulate in the way that works for them.

Regulate Your Own Nervous System

Your nervous system speaks to theirs. When you're anxious about their fear, they feel that. When you're calm and present, they feel that too.

This doesn't mean pretending everything's fine; it means being a steady, regulated presence they can borrow from.

Manage the Environment

Close curtains during fireworks. Play calming music to mask sounds. Take walks at quieter times.

You're not avoiding the problem; you're preventing additional traumatic experiences that would deepen the fear through generalisation.

Offer Choice and Control

Can they choose where to be during scary moments? Can they move away if they need to? Can they come to you for comfort?

The more control they have, the safer they feel. Even small choices matter.

Use Sniffing to Regulate

Engaging your dog's olfactory system can help regulate their nervous system. Sniffing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing them out of fight/flight and into a calmer state.

A simple scent game during quieter moments between fireworks can offer genuine nervous system support.

Seek Trauma-Informed Support

Not every dog professional understands trauma-informed approaches. Look for someone who talks about nervous system regulation, who respects your dog's fear, who works at your dog's pace.

If someone's first response is "you need to train them," keep looking or get in touch with me, I can help you!

Understanding why you cannot train away fear transforms how you help your terrified dog. Finding a community that gets this makes all the difference.

Polyvagal Theory and Nervous System Regulation

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Neural Synchronization Between Humans and Dogs

Berns, G. S. (2017). What It's Like to Be a Dog: And Other Adventures in Animal Neuroscience. Basic Books.