Understanding Triggers and Glimmers: The Key to Helping Your Scared Dog

I imagine if you have a dog with big feelings, triggers will be almost constantly on your mind.

That knot in your stomach when you see another dog approaching on a walk. The tension that creeps into your shoulders when the doorbell rings. The way your breathing goes shallow when you know your dog is about to lose it.

We talk about triggers all the time, don't we? 

But we rarely talk about their beautiful opposite: glimmers.

In nervous system terms, triggers mean signals of danger and they take our dogs (and us) to disregulation. 

You know what that feels like, we all do. That underlying discomfort that sits in your chest. The anxiety that makes everything feel slightly wrong. 

The worry that everything is not OK, even when you can't put your finger on why.

Triggers are things that create an emotional reaction in our dogs.

The label is given to them because they cause a cascade of emotional chemicals which quickly change the way a dog feels. 

When a dog feels differently, they act differently, and this is how we can identify what has triggered their response along with how they feel about the trigger.

Disregulation means we're closer to explosion or shut down ALL THE TIME. And so are our dogs. If their system doesn't feel safe, then neither will they.

An example might be a scared dog who is fearful of other dogs and is wandering around an empty field nicely, in a relaxed way. 

Her body might be loose and her gait flowing freely.

Then another dog enters the field, and this triggers a fear response in her body. The first thing that happens is that her stare becomes fixated on the other dog.

Her pupils will dilate, and her body will tense. Next, she will default to her own coping strategy.

Two Types of Fear Response in Scared Dogs

If she is an overt reactor, her tail will lift higher, and she will start to bark. The closer the other dog gets, the more she will bark, simply because she will feel much more scared.

The more scared she gets, the scarier she will try to become. It's all about sending the other dog away.

If she is a default freeze reactor, she will try to leave or hide. Her tail will go down, she might even tuck it between her back legs, and her entire body language will drop. She might try to climb up you to stay safe.

"Living with a disregulated nervous system is exhausting. It's like trying to navigate your day whilst constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Our dogs can be scared of anything. The reason for that fear might not be that they have been harmed or traumatised by the trigger in the past.

They might simply have never experienced it and therefore find it scary.

When a healthy puppy learns about the world, they see something new at the same time as feeling entirely safe. 

They get to observe for as long as they need to, they can tick that thing off their puppy list of scary things and move on.

If they don't get to see many things in that way, or are rushed around their social learning becoming overwhelmed, they will probably show some kind of emotional fear towards new things later on.

Often called trigger stacking, the dog's nervous system can be fine or recover fairly easily if there is one single trigger but if they pile on top of each other the dog may not be able to cope at all.

This can be a source of great confusion to dog guardians because the dog might cope with one or two things but then a third thing, even if it seems exactly the same might send them over the edge into reaction and fear.

People often say that their dog was fine with the first two people then barked at the third. 

This is an example of what triggers stacked on top of each other look like.

A nervous system that is rolling forward with every perceived danger will eventually create a survival response.

The opposite to danger is safety and that's where glimmers come in.

Cosiness, comfort, love, connection, even a nice meal they're all glimmers. 

That warm feeling you get when your dog chooses to lean against your legs. 

The softness in their eyes when they truly relax. The deep sigh they give when they finally feel safe enough to properly rest.

They make us feel warm and safe inside, and that's because glimmers literally regulate the nervous system. 

They tell that ancient part of our brain that's always scanning for danger: "It's alright, you can stand down now."

Our dogs benefit greatly from glimmers too. Actually, they need them. Desperately.

Glimmers are little moments of safety that rebalance the body and mind into a healthier state. 

Like triggers, glimmers are unique to the dog and what helps one scared dog feel safe might feel like danger to another.

Being touched is an excellent example of this. A dog who has felt safe around humans will usually not consider touch too much of a big deal. Yet a dog who has been harmed around humans is likely to be much more worried about hands coming towards them.

Darcie for example my tiny rescue not long arrived is very scared of unknown dogs but completely trusts people. So when a new dog is around, she asks to be picked up.

My little puppy farm rescue, Holly, was initially completely happy around even the biggest dogs, but hands were another matter. 

The difference in their triggers was significant but the response in their little bodies exactly the same.

Poor little Holly got attacked by an off lead JRT a year or so after joining us. 

Her triggers changed in that moment. She became terrified of dogs and as the years went by, she became braver around people. She mellowed a tiny 1% around dogs eventually too but it was a long hard road.

To better explain glimmers and how they feel I ask you to consider what makes you feel safe, connected and able to truly relax. 

It might be settling down for a film at home with your dog and a full belly. It could be a hug from loved ones that you really lean into, or it could be walking in the woods with the sun on your face.

Dogs will have their own glimmers which affect them in the same way. 

Their glimmers will help to rebalance their triggers.

One of the biggest glimmers for dogs is the ability to control their environment and what happens to them. It makes perfect sense, right?

Think about how you feel when you have no control over your day. 

When every decision is made for you. 

When you can't even choose when to have a wee or what to eat or when to go outside.

If an individual has no control, autonomy or choices, they're going to feel less safe. Add in even one choice, just one, and we create a glimmer of safety.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. How many choices do our dogs actually get to make? Really think about it.

We decide when they eat, what they eat, when they walk, where they walk, who they meet, when they can sniff, when they need to hurry up. 

We decide when they get attention and when they need to settle. We decide everything.

"No wonder so many dogs are walking around disregulated."

Glimmers are little bits of daily life that can take a disregulated system into a regulated one. They're not grand gestures. They're tiny moments of safety that add up.

Glimmers that might help your scared dog:

• Connection on their terms
• Choices of treats—actually letting them pick which one they want
• The ability to sniff for as long as they like, when they like (yes, even that boring bit of grass they've sniffed a hundred times already)
• A cuddle with you when they seek it out
• Not being touched when they don't invite it

How often do we pet our dogs because WE need the connection, without checking if they want it too?

Small Moments, Big Impact

Creating glimmers doesn't require grand gestures:

• Letting your dog choose which way to turn on a walk
• Waiting for them to be ready before clipping on their lead
• Asking them if they want to come for cuddles rather than calling them over
• Respecting when they choose their bed over your sofa
  
  

These might sound like small things. They are small things. But to a nervous system that's constantly assessing threat, these moments of choice and control are everything.

And just as important as that, facilitating glimmers for your dog is a kind and loving action towards them. 

It's saying, "I see you as an individual with preferences and feelings and autonomy." It's recognising them as more than just "a dog" who should do what they're told.

Who doesn't want to be kind to their dog?

So if something triggers a feeling of danger for our dogs and we have awareness of their glimmer (what makes them feel safe, comfortable and connected) we can then start to reverse their journey towards their safety response of fight or flight.

Try to consider your dog's reactions as a way to tell how they feel about different things. 

That way you can adapt to their needs, from an informed place, providing more glimmers and much fewer triggers.

"Understanding what helps a scared dog feel safe again is one of the most powerful tools we have as their guardians."

The thing is, when we start noticing triggers and actively creating glimmers, something shifts. Not just in our dogs, but in us too.

We become more attuned. More present. More connected.

We start to see behaviour differently. That "reactive" dog isn't being difficult they're disregulated and desperate for safety. That "stubborn" dog who won't come when called might just need more choice in their life. 

That "anxious" dog might simply need more glimmers than triggers in their day.

Because here's what I know: once you understand triggers and glimmers, you can't unsee them.

You'll notice them everywhere. In your dog, in yourself, in your relationships.

And that awareness? That's the first step to creating a life with more glimmers than triggers.

For all of us.

And honestly, don't we all deserve that?

When you're helping a scared dog, You need support too! Having a supportive community makes all the difference. Understanding triggers and glimmers is just the beginning.

You would be made so welcome in our safe, welcoming community for dog guardians. We already love your dog, come along and ask your questions, learn lots and share your wins. But come armed with plenty of dog pics too...