Five Signs Your Dog Deeply Trusts You

We all want to believe our dogs trust us.

We feed them, walk them, care for them. We assume that's enough. We assume trust is automatic.

But trust isn't the same as attachment. And it's not the same as dependence.

A dog can be deeply attached to you and still not trust you. A dog can depend on you for survival without trusting that you'll keep them safe. 

A dog can follow you everywhere, sleep in your bed, and greet you enthusiastically at the door - and still not have the kind of deep, secure trust that transforms the relationship.

True trust is subtler than we think. It shows up not in the big, obvious moments, but in the quiet ones. In the way your dog moves through the world when you're present. In the choices they make when they have options. In their willingness to be vulnerable.

Here are five signs your dog deeply trusts you - not the obvious ones, but the ones that actually matter.

Before we get to the signs, we need to understand what trust actually is. Because we confuse it with other things constantly.

Attachment is about proximity and connection. Dogs attach to their primary caregivers because that's how they're wired. Attachment says "I need you close." It's a biological bond that forms regardless of whether the relationship is healthy or not.

Research using the Ainsworth Strange Situation Test - originally developed for human infants and adapted for dogs - shows that dogs form attachment bonds to their guardians. They show separation distress when left alone. They seek proximity and contact. They prefer their guardian over strangers.

But attachment doesn't equal trust.

Some dogs are insecurely attached - they're clingy, anxious, unable to settle without their guardian present. They're deeply attached, but they don't trust. They don't trust that their person will return. They don't trust that they're safe even when their person is nearby. The attachment is desperate, not secure.

Dependence is about survival. Dogs depend on us for food, shelter, safety. This creates a relationship by necessity. Dependent dogs stay close because they have no choice. They comply because non-compliance might threaten their access to resources.

Dependence says "I need you to survive." It's transactional.

Trust is different.

Trust is what happens when a dog believes, deep in their nervous system, that you are safe. That you won't hurt them. That you won't force them into situations they can't handle. That you'll listen when they communicate discomfort. That you'll protect them when they need protecting.

Trust is a secure attachment - the kind where the dog uses you as a safe base from which to explore. Where they can be calm in your presence because your presence predicts safety, not pressure.

Research by Vieira de Castro et al. (2020) found that dogs trained with aversive methods were less likely to show the secure base effect - they didn't use their guardian as a safe base for exploration. 

Dogs trained with reward-based methods showed clear secure attachments. They explored more in their guardian's presence. They greeted them enthusiastically upon return. They used them as an anchor point.

This is what trust looks like. Not frantic attachment. Not survival dependence. But secure, confident reliance on a person who has proven themselves safe.

This is the sign most people miss.

Foxy taught me this one.

She's highly sensitive. The slightest tension in my body, the smallest edge in my voice, and she shuts down completely. Early on, I thought this meant she didn't trust me. But I was wrong.

Trust doesn't mean a dog never shows discomfort. Trust means they're willing to show you their discomfort.

When Fox is uncomfortable - when something's too much, when she needs space, when the pressure is building - she tells me. She glances away. She lip licks. She moves slightly back. She doesn't shut down and disappear into herself anymore. She communicates.

And here's the trust part: she believes I'll respond.

She trusts me to have her back. She trusts that when she says "this is too much," I'll adjust. I'll give her space. I'll reduce the pressure. I'll protect her from whatever's making her uncomfortable.

Dogs who trust you don't hide their vulnerability. They don't suppress their discomfort signals because showing them might lead to bad consequences. They're honest. They're transparent. They show you what they're feeling because they trust you'll do something about it.

The dog who never shows stress might not trust you. They might just be compliant.

The dog who shows you their stress, who tells you when they're worried, who advocates for themselves - that's the dog who trusts you enough to be honest.

This one's subtle because it looks like something else.

A dog who follows you everywhere - is that trust? Maybe. Or maybe it's anxious attachment. Maybe it's a dog who can't regulate without your presence, who panics when you're out of sight, who's desperately attached but not securely trusting.

Research on attachment styles in dogs shows that insecurely attached dogs often display clingy, proximity-seeking behaviour. They can't settle when their guardian leaves. They show excessive distress during separations. They're always physically close, but it's not from a place of confidence. It's from a place of anxiety.

Secure trust looks different.

Foxy also taught me this distinction.

When she first arrived, she was never far from me. But it wasn't because she wanted to be near me. It was because being alone felt more dangerous than staying close. She didn't trust me. She just trusted me slightly more than she trusted being by herself.

Now? She chooses to be near me. And she also chooses to be apart.

She'll settle in another room if that's where she's comfortable. She'll walk away if she needs space. She'll come close when she wants connection. But she's not glued to me out of anxiety. She's near me because proximity feels good, and she's apart from me when independence feels right.

That's the difference. A dog who trusts you chooses proximity. They're not trapped by it. They're not compelled by it out of anxiety. They genuinely want to be near you because your presence is rewarding, not because your absence is terrifying.

And critically, they can also choose distance when they need it. Because trust includes trusting that you'll still be there when they come back.

This is one of the more obvious signs, but it's worth examining what it actually means.

A dog who trusts you doesn't just tolerate your presence. They downregulate in it.

Their nervous system genuinely settles when you're around. Their breathing slows. Their muscles soften. Their eyes go soft. They can sleep deeply - not just rest with one eye open, but actually sleep, vulnerable and unguarded.

Research on the human-dog bond shows that positive interactions between dogs and guardians increase oxytocin in both species. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone, but it's also the trust hormone. It reduces fear. It promotes calm. It signals to the nervous system that this person is safe.

Dogs who trust you use you as a source of regulation.

When Chips struggled with life and sounds were overwhelming - I was the only thing that helped him settle. Not because I was doing anything specific. But because my presence predicted safety. My presence meant he could let his guard down slightly. He could rest. 

That's what trust provides. It's a nervous system anchor. The dog who trusts you can actually relax around you because trust tells their body "you're safe here."

The dog who's always vigilant in your presence, who never fully settles, who sleeps lightly and startles easily - they might be attached to you. But they don't fully trust you yet.

Foxy taught me this one, and it surprised me.

She's tiny and when she first came from her foster home she wouldn't come in from the garden. I was trying to get her in, bare feet, rain, wondering what on this Earth I had done. 

It's all very different now though. 

She climbs on me. She walks across my lap. She demands to be picked up. She leans into handling. She actively seeks physical contact, and she does it with complete confidence that I'll respond appropriately.

Yesterday she ran across the bed to me and playfully bit the end of my nose. 

That's trust.

Dogs who trust you ask for what they need. They don't wait passively for you to decide when affection happens. They initiate. They request. They communicate their preferences.

And critically, they trust that "no" is safe. That if they solicit contact and you're not available, that's okay. That refusal doesn't mean rejection. That their needs matter even when they can't be met in that exact moment.

Foxy will ask to be picked up. If I can't right then, she'll try again later. She doesn't shut down. She doesn't stop asking. She trusts that her requests are valid even when the answer is "not right now."

This is different from the dog who never asks for anything. The dog who's learned that their preferences don't matter, that initiating contact is risky, that it's safer to wait to be approached than to approach themselves.

Dogs who trust you have agency. They advocate for themselves. They ask for what they want - affection, play, food, attention - and they trust that asking itself won't lead to bad outcomes.

This is perhaps the most telling sign of all.

Every dog experiences stress. Fear.

Discomfort. Situations that push them out of their window of tolerance. That's not avoidable. Life is unpredictable.

What matters is what happens after.

Dogs who trust you use you as a safe base to recover. When something scary happens - a loud noise, an unexpected visitor, a stressful vet visit - they can return to you and downregulate. They don't stay elevated for hours. They don't shut down. They process the stress and then release it because your presence helps their nervous system reset.

This is called the secure base effect, and it's one of the most researched aspects of attachment in both humans and dogs. Securely attached infants use their caregiver as a safe base for exploration and a safe haven when distressed. The same applies to dogs.

Research by Horn et al. (2013) found that dogs with secure attachments to their guardians were more persistent at problem-solving tasks when their guardian was present. They used their guardian as a secure base - a source of confidence that allowed them to keep trying even when the task was difficult.

Dogs who trust you don't just seek you out when stressed. They can actually use your presence to regulate.

When Chips heard a firework or a car backfire - sounds that sent him into complete panic - he'd come to me. Not because I could stop the noise, but because being near me helped his nervous system settle faster. He'd press against me, I'd stay calm and steady, and gradually his breathing would slow. His body would soften. He'd stop scanning for threat.

That's trust. Trust is a regulatory relationship. It's when your dog's nervous system recognises your nervous system as a source of safety, and uses that recognition to return to baseline faster.

Dogs who don't trust you might still seek you out when scared, but they can't settle. They stay elevated. They remain vigilant. Your presence doesn't calm them because they haven't learned that you're a reliable source of safety.

Here's what's crucial: trust doesn't look the same in every dog.

Some dogs' trust shows up as honesty about discomfort. 

Some shows up as independence. 

Foxy's trust shows up as confidence. She's tiny and vulnerable, yet she'll climb all over me, demand to be picked up, walk on me like I'm furniture - because she trusts completely that I won't hurt her.

Different dogs. Different expressions of the same underlying state: the secure belief that you are safe.

Some dogs show trust through physical closeness. Some through relaxation. Some through playfulness. Some through their willingness to advocate for themselves.

What matters isn't the specific behaviour. What matters is the quality underneath it.

Does your dog's nervous system recognise you as safe? Can they be vulnerable around you? Do they use you to regulate? Can they be honest about discomfort? Do they recover quickly from stress when you're present?

That's trust. 

Learn more from my book on Inspiring Resilience here.

Understanding what trust looks like also means understanding what damages it.

Trust is broken by:

• Force. Any time you physically compel a dog to do something against their will, you teach them they can't trust you to respect their autonomy.
• Ignoring communication. When dogs tell you they're uncomfortable and you push them anyway, they learn their signals don't matter.
• Inconsistency. Dogs need predictability to feel safe. Unpredictable responses - sometimes gentle, sometimes harsh - create anxiety, not trust.
• Punishment. Research consistently shows that aversive training methods damage the secure base effect. Dogs trained with punishment are less likely to use their guardian as a safe base.
• Flooding. Forcing a dog to "face their fears" by overwhelming them with the thing they're scared of doesn't build confidence. It breaks trust.
  
  

Trust is built by:

• Respecting autonomy. Give your dog choices whenever possible. Let them say no. Show them their preferences matter. (We explored this deeply in our post on choice-based training and how it strengthens your bond.)
• Listening to communication. When your dog tells you they're uncomfortable, believe them. Adjust. Give them space. Show them their signals work.
• Being predictable. Respond consistently. Be the steady presence they can rely on. Let your behaviour be predictable enough that they can trust what comes next.
• Using positive methods. Train with rewards, not punishment. Build cooperation, not compliance. Research shows this creates secure attachments.
• Protecting them. Be the barrier between your dog and things that overwhelm them. If something's too much, step in. Show them you'll keep them safe.
• Meeting their emotional needs. Provide safety, connection, choice, predictability, appropriate mental and physical stimulation. (We covered this in depth in our post on meeting your dog's emotional needs daily.)
  
  

Trust isn't built in grand gestures. It's built in a thousand small moments where you prove, again and again, that you're safe. That you listen. That you won't push them past their limits. That they can count on you.

We started with "Does my dog trust me?"

But perhaps the better question is: "Am I trustworthy?"

Do you respect your dog's autonomy? Do you listen when they communicate discomfort? Are you predictable and consistent? Do you protect them from situations that overwhelm them? Do you meet their emotional needs, not just their physical ones?

Because trust isn't something dogs owe us. Trust is something we earn.

And we earn it by being the kind of person a dog can rely on. The kind who keeps them safe, who listens to their communication, who respects their choices, who helps them regulate when the world feels too big.

We earn it by understanding that trust isn't the same as attachment or dependence. That a dog who never leaves your side might not trust you - they might just be anxious. That a dog who does everything you ask might not trust you - they might just be compliant.

Trust is what happens when a dog's nervous system recognises you as safe. Not just in the calm moments, but in the stressful ones. Not just when things are easy, but when things are hard.

It's what allows them to show you vulnerability. To choose proximity without anxiety. To relax completely in your presence. To ask for what they need. To recover quickly when life gets overwhelming.

That's what trust looks like. Not perfect obedience. Not constant proximity. Not enthusiasm at all times.

Just a dog whose body knows, deep down, that you are safe.

And if your dog shows you that - in whatever form it takes for them - you've earned something precious. Something that can't be bought or forced or commanded into existence.

You've earned their trust. 

Want to build deeper trust with your dog? Join us in Skool For Dog People, where we explore nervous system science, trauma-informed approaches, and practical ways to earn your dog's genuine trust. Learn to read your dog's communication, understand what trust actually looks like versus attachment and dependence, and create a relationship where your dog feels truly safe. No force, no pressure - just compassionate, evidence-based guidance for becoming the person your dog can rely on.

Research References:

1. Topál, J., Miklósi, Á., Csányi, V., & Dóka, A. (1998). Attachment behavior in dogs (Canis familiaris): A new application of Ainsworth's (1969) Strange Situation Test. Journal of Comparative Psychology, 112(3), 219-229.
2. Vieira de Castro, A.C., Fuchs, D., Morello, G.M., Pastur, S., de Sousa, L., & Olsson, I.A.S. (2020). Does training method matter? Evidence for the negative impact of aversive-based methods on companion dog welfare. PLoS ONE, 15(12), e0225023.
3. Horn, L., Huber, L., & Range, F. (2013). The importance of the secure base effect for domestic dogs - Evidence from a manipulative problem-solving task. PLoS ONE, 8(5), e65296.
4. Solomon, J., Beetz, A., Schöberl, I., McCullough, A., Cirovic, D., & Serpell, J. (2018). Attachment security in companion dogs: Adaptation of Ainsworth's strange situation and classification procedures to dogs and their human caregivers. Attachment & Human Development, 21(4), 389-417.
5. Konok, V., Kosztolányi, A., Rainer, W., Mutschler, B., Halsband, U., & Miklósi, Á. (2015). Influence of owners' attachment style and personality on their dogs' (Canis familiaris) separation-related disorder. PLoS ONE, 10(2), e0118375.
6. Bowlby, J. (1958). The nature of the child's tie to his mother. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 39, 350-373. [Foundational attachment theory]
7. Nagasawa, M., Mogi, K., & Kikusui, T. (2009). Attachment between humans and dogs. Japanese Psychological Research, 51(3), 209-221.
8. Prato-Previde, E., Custance, D.M., Spiezio, C., & Sabatini, F. (2003). Is the dog-human relationship an attachment bond? An observational study using Ainsworth's strange situation. Behaviour, 140(2), 225-254.
9. Mariti, C., Ricci, E., Carlone, B., Moore, J.L., Sighieri, C., & Gazzano, A. (2013). Dog attachment to man: A comparison between pet and working dogs. Journal of Veterinary Behavior, 8(3), 135-145.
10. Schöberl, I., Beetz, A., Solomon, J., Wedl, M., Gee, N., & Kotrschal, K. (2016). Social factors influencing cortisol modulation in dogs during a strange situation procedure. Journal of Veterinary Behavior, 11, 77-85.
11. Odendaal, J.S., & Meintjes, R.A. (2003). Neurophysiological correlates of affiliative behaviour between humans and dogs. The Veterinary Journal, 165(3), 296-301. [Oxytocin and bonding research]
12. Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 3. Loss: Sadness and Depression. New York: Basic Books.