Between Two Worlds: Giving Our Dogs The Agency They Need

Our dogs live in a world we've designed for ourselves, not for them. 

We've created streets they must navigate on leads, homes with rules they didn't write, and schedules that fit our lives rather than theirs.

And yet, despite all of this, they adapt beautifully. They trust us to make decisions for them, and that trust is something we should never take lightly. 

When we become guardians to a dog, we're not just taking on the responsibility of feeding and sheltering them. We're taking on the responsibility of understanding them, of seeing the world through their eyes, even when it's inconvenient for us.

Think about it for a moment. 

Your dog didn't choose to live with you. 

They didn't decide they wanted to wake up at seven in the morning, wait patiently whilst you have your breakfast, then go for a walk at exactly the same time every day on exactly the same route. 

They didn't sign up for being left alone for eight hours whilst you go to work, or for being told off when they bark at the postman who they genuinely believe is a threat to their home. 

All of these things are part of our human world, and our dogs are simply doing their best to fit into it.

The wonderful thing about dogs is their adaptability. 

They will mould themselves around our lives with remarkable grace. They'll learn our routines, understand our moods, and work out what we expect from them. 

But just because they can adapt doesn't mean we shouldn't meet them halfway. 

In fact, I'd argue that good guardianship means we should be adapting to them just as much as they adapt to us. 

We need to be thinking constantly about what life is like from their perspective, and making choices that honour their needs as well as our own. 

This isn't always easy, and it certainly isn't always convenient, but it's what we signed up for when we brought a dog into our lives.

Here's the thing though. What we want from our dogs and what they actually need can be quite different, and sometimes these differences create real tension in our daily lives. 

We want a dog who sits quietly whilst we chat with a neighbour for ten minutes, but they need to sniff that lamp post because there's vital information there about who's been past today, what other dogs have visited, and whether there might be something interesting to investigate. 

We want them to settle down in the evening at eight o'clock because we're tired and ready to watch television, but they've been asleep all day whilst we were at work and they're ready for adventure, for play, for interaction. 

We want them to walk nicely beside us on a loose lead, but they want to zigzag across the path following scent trails that are invisible to us but utterly fascinating to them. 

These needs are as real to our dogs as our needs are to us. 

Have a think about your own dog for a moment.

Are there times when what you want conflicts with what they need? 

I think about this a lot with my own dogs. There are days when I'm tired and just want to read a book.

But I know that they need more. 

They need to sniff, to explore, to be dogs. Darcie needs to look for squirrels and Foxy needs to race off in front, with her bloomers waving in the breeze!

The best thing about this is, the more I provide what my dog needs, the better it is for me too. 

We get to be in the woods, by the river, I get to feel the sun on my skin and the blood moving through my body. 

Another beautiful thing is, when we meet our dogs' needs, we usually find that our lives become easier anyway. 

A dog who has had proper mental and physical stimulation is a calmer, happier companion at home. They're less likely to bark at every sound, less likely to demand attention constantly, less likely to develop destructive behaviours out of boredom or frustration. 

When we give them what they need, they give us the peaceful companionship we want. 

It's not a quick fix though, and it's not always obvious. Sometimes what looks like a behavioural problem is actually just an unmet need showing itself in a way we find inconvenient.

This is where guardianship gets interesting, and where we really have to think carefully about the choices we make.

We can't give our dogs complete freedom.

That would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous.

We can't let them roam the neighbourhood like dogs once did, visiting their friends and making their own way home. Our roads are busier now, our world is different, and the risks are too high.

But we can give them freedom within the boundaries of the life we've created together.

We can be thoughtful about how we structure their world so that they have as much choice and autonomy as possible whilst still staying safe.

Think about your daily walk.

Do you always take the same route?

Do you walk at the same pace every time?

Do you decide when to stop and when to move on?

Now imagine if someone controlled your daily walk in the same way. You'd probably feel quite frustrated, wouldn't you?

Yet this is what we do to our dogs, often without even thinking about it.

We can choose walking routes that offer more sniffing opportunities rather than just the quickest path. We can let them choose which direction to walk in sometimes, even if it's not where we planned to go.

We can stop when they want to investigate something, rather than dragging them along because we're on a schedule. These small freedoms add up to a much richer experience for our dogs.

Off lead time is particularly important. When a dog is off lead, they can move at their own pace, follow their own interests, and make their own decisions about where to go and what to investigate.

They can run when they want to run, sniff when they want to sniff, and rest when they want to rest.

This kind of freedom is incredibly valuable for their mental wellbeing. Of course, this requires a reliable recall and a safe environment, and not every dog is ready for off lead freedom straight away.

But it's something worth working towards, because the difference it makes to a dog's quality of life is significant.

They race around, they play, they investigate things thoroughly without us hurrying them along.

They're more themselves, if that makes sense.

They're dogs being dogs, rather than dogs trying to fit into human expectations. And when we get home, they're tired and content in a way they never are after an on lead walk, even if the on lead walk was longer.

The key is being thoughtful about it all.

Every choice we make for our dogs should be filtered through this question:

am I doing this for me, or am I doing this for them?

Sometimes the answer will be "for me" and that's okay.

We're human and we have needs too. 

But if the answer is always "for me," then we need to pause and reconsider. Our dogs didn't ask to live in our world. They're doing their best to fit into it, and the least we can do is meet them halfway.

Dog guardianship isn't about having a perfectly behaved dog who never puts a paw wrong. 

It's about having a dog who feels safe, understood, and free to be themselves within the structure we've provided. 

It's about recognising that their natural behaviours; the sniffing, the rolling, the running are essential parts of who they are. 

When we embrace this, when we really commit to seeing things from their perspective, everything changes. 

Our relationship deepens, our understanding grows, and our dogs get to live lives that are not just manageable, but actually joyful. 

And honestly, isn't that what they deserve?

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