Why Does My Dog Stare at Me? Understanding Canine Communication and Body Language

Dogs are constantly communicating with us, but are we listening?

One of the most common questions I hear from dog guardians is: "Why does my dog stare at me?" The answer isn't always simple, because dogs, like humans, have rich emotional lives and complex ways of expressing themselves.

When your dog stares at you, they're trying to tell you something.

Research by Dr. Gregory Berns shows that the caudate nucleus (a region of the brain associated with emotions) becomes activated when dogs see their guardian. This suggests that staring might be linked to feelings of love and connection.

But staring can mean different things in different contexts. Your dog might be anticipating a reward, like food or a walk. They might be seeking guidance or reassurance. Or they might simply be enjoying your presence.

The key is to look at the whole picture. What is your dog's body language telling you alongside that stare?

One of the things I see most often is the body language of stress in dogs not being recognised by their people.

This is really sad, as body language is honest and open communication that tells us how the dog feels.

Stress in dogs triggers a nervous system response designed to keep them alive and safe. When a dog encounters a trigger, they experience an influx of adrenaline and cortisol, preparing them for one of four responses: flight, fight, fooling around, or freeze.

Flight means your dog wants to leave the situation. They might not be able to run away at full speed (especially if they're on lead) but you might notice them trying to create distance or move away.

Fight happens when a dog feels they have no choice but to face their fears head-on. This isn't aggression for aggression's sake. It's a stress response when escape feels impossible.

Fooling around can manifest as height-seeking, hand-nipping, or hyperactivity. It might look like play, but the dog's body will appear more tense and desperate.

Freeze is when a dog becomes completely still, hoping the threat will pass. Dogs who have experienced trauma or choice depression are most likely to freeze.

Understanding these responses means we can support our dogs more compassionately.

Many dog guardians misinterpret appeasement behaviour as guilt.

If your dog chews something when left alone due to separation anxiety, they may greet you with body language that says they are worried, not guilty. Looking away, lowering their body, or other submissive postures don't mean your dog knows they've done something "wrong."

Dogs live in the moment, experiencing the world through their senses and emotions. They are highly sensitive to human emotions, and what we perceive as guilt is often a response to our tone or body language.

Presuming guilt or punishing a dog for such behaviour can be unkind and even emotionally damaging.

Learning to read your dog's body language is one of the most important skills you can develop as a guardian.

Dogs rely heavily on body language to communicate their emotions. From small signals like a slight change in posture to more overt reactions such as barking or whining, your dog is constantly telling you how they feel.

A conscientious guardian recognises the emotional states of their dogs, respects those feelings, and avoids presumption.

Try to become a "dog watcher" and an "environment expert." Observe how your dog responds to different situations and adapt your behaviour to help them feel safe and comfortable.

Assuming we know how our dog feels is not only disempowering, but it can also lead to misunderstandings.

Just because some feelings haven't been scientifically proven doesn't mean that dogs aren't experiencing them. Dr. Berns' research may only be scratching the surface when it comes to understanding how complex canine emotional states can be.

It is crucial to observe your dog's body language and behaviour rather than make assumptions. By learning the subtle cues that your dog uses to communicate, you can better understand how they are feeling.

Remember that dogs, like humans, have good and bad days. Their ability to cope with stressors can vary depending on how they're feeling.

By considering how recent events may have affected your dog, you can anticipate how they will handle future situations.

Empathy is a cornerstone of any good relationship, including the one you share with your dog.

Being able to read and understand their language means that our dogs can feel understood and also safe in our company.

When we recognise the signs of stress and observe what our dogs are communicating through their body language, we gain insight into their emotional state. With that knowledge, we can support their wellbeing more compassionately and avoid placing them in situations that exceed their ability to cope.

Your dog is always talking to you. The question is: are you listening?

My fully illustrated canine communication book will help you..